Monday’s practice at the Coliseum marked the final of the 5pm Fall Camp practices. That also means I won’t be able to attend and report on anymore of these. I’ll try to make the best of our short time together. Just kidding, I’m not going to mince words much this time. You’ll just have to wait until there’s more stuff I can write about.

The team came out in full pads and looked sluggish. During one on one drills, defenders had sloppy tackles. Daniel Imatorbhebhe absolutely embarrased one guy with his jukes and cuts. I’m not sure if he even managed to touch Imatorbhebhe. His burning cuts always look impressive. Hopefully he’ll get more consistent with his catches though.

The defense managed to redeem themselves a bit in 11 on 11 red zone drills. For the most part, they were stopping a fairly stagnant offense. They denied an offense for a substantial period. Eventually, both Max Browne and Sam Darnold were able to get a touchdown apiece. Before they could, though, Quinton Powell was heckling them from the sideline. Funny and all for practice, but I hope it doesn’t bleed into taunting penalties in live games…

…because they got enough penalties on their own. So many flags for false starts and other assorted garbage. It feels a little weird to see that many yellow flags fly during a glorified practice. Basically, the team did not look game-ready. Luckily, it’s practice number five and they have a lot of time to get their crap together. They’re going to need it because—in case you forgot—Alabama is up next. And they’re sure as hell not going to be in Texas to compare US News rankings or GPAs.

CommBro Breaker

Even if they did just show up to compare GPAs, y’all still may lose.

Useless Stat of the Day: University of Alabama’s acceptance rate is 51%. USC’s is 16.5%. They even beat us at that. Wait…Yup, the numbers check out. 51 > 16.5. Trust me, I was a Comm major.

Don’t worry, I got you another sweet picture to distract you from my mathematics. It’s totally not just the previous one reversed.

City of Angles and CommBro bring you firsthand information hot from the second fall camp practice. I got there late and left early though. Life obligations and stuff, y’know? That’s basically the same reason I dropped off the face of the Earth for a while. And sadly, that’s why I’ll probably only get to attend one more fall camp practice before the actual season starts.

It wasn’t an extended gag from the Finding Dory post carrying on over the past month, in case you were wondering. Sorry folks, didn’t mean for that much silence.

With these unfortunate circumstances, I have to ease myself back into this whole blogging thing. I mean, how hard can it be to barf onto your keyboard? Even your friendly neighborhood cat can do that. Even though we’re less than a month away from the big showdown against Alabama in the season opener, I find myself constantly trying to say “spring practice” instead of “fall camp practice.” Yup, don’t see any problems here. Don’t worry, I am so on top of this that I even managed to sneak in a picture despite the camera ban.

I didn’t Photoshop, okay? Some people call me a liar. I consider myself a prankster.

At first, it seemed like quarterback hopeful Sam Darnold was sharing in my suffering on post-Spring transitions. Just when it looked like the other hopeful, Max Browne, was starting to get some separation and yank the starting job away, Darnold rallies and Browne stumbles. I am really starting to see why Coach Helton wanted to keep the competition going into Spring. I still don’t like it—but I understand it.

What I can understand and like is how Helton handled the little tussle that took place during the practice. Two players got into it in the right corner of the end zone, resulting in a serving of up-downs for the entire team as punishment. Or are they down-ups? Which came first: the up or the down? The chicken or the egg. Classic questions.

CommBro Breaker

I have long pondered the latter question and found myself in a deeper quandary. In either case, where did the rooster come from? Were they parallel pairs, both originating from eggs or fully formed? Maybe one started as an egg, the other fully grown. These dangerous ideas must be what drove men of old into book burnings. Absolute nonsense.

/CommBro Breaker

Their little up-down session will hopefully lead to a more disciplined team. That has been an area of weakness for the past several years. Life with the Pac-12 officials is difficult enough. Why encourage them with free unsportsmanlike conduct penalties? Make them invent penalties to fuel fan outrage instead. All part of that fun of a gameday.

Anyway, much like the first practice, they went with helmets and no pads so nothing too crazy happened. The highlights were Browne throwing a long touchdown pass to JuJu Smith-Schuster in the right corner of the end zone. It was one of those impossible grabs.

Darnold wouldn’t be upstaged, so he threw one to the same spot into the hands of Josh Imatorbhebhe. It was one of those well thrown floaters that no DB would be able to reach. But yeah, all the action was in the right corner of the end zone.

That’s all I got this time. Like I told you, I’m getting back into the swing of things. Stay tuned for more posts leading up to the match on September 3.