USC vs. USC vs. USC (USC Spring Game)
April 16, 2016 at 3:00pm
Los Angeles Memorial Coliseum: 23,000 (of 93,607 [As if they were going to pack out a spring game. This isn’t the Midwest])
Total Time: Approximately 1 hours 50 minutes

New coaches, new quarterback, and new athletic director make for an interesting spring. Too bad the annual “spring game” was anything but. There were a lot of 9 on 7 drills, situational plays, and just plain practice stuff during another hot day in Southern California’s eternal summer.

Eventually, they got to the good stuff with 11 on 11 and even live tackling. The only ones exempt to the hits were the four quarterbacks participating. It may not have been awe-inspiring, but we saw a few good things. For one, the vertical passing game is back and totally in style. Both Browne and Darnold completed some long passes.

Early on in the 11-on-11, Browne connected with Darreus for a large gain, but it was still iffy. Take a watch below:

Browne underthrew the deep pass, big time, but still completed it to Darreus Rogers. The three DBs present not only allowed the catch, they allowed Rogers to take the remaining 20-ish yards into the endzone. The ball traveled approximately 50 yards in the air—42 from the line of scrimmage. The added run made brought the play to 64 yards and a touchdown. Could’ve been worse, I guess. In the end, both Darnold and Browne’s stats look impressive:

Max Browne
7-of-11
114 yards
3 TD

Sam Darnold
6-of-7
63 yards
2 TD

The City of Angles advanced eye test alghorithm has deduced the following ranking of the four:

1. Max Browne
2. Sam Darnold
3. Jalen Greene
4. Matt Fink

Receivers dropping a copious amount of passes was still a thing. Luckily, they redeemed themselves a bit later on in the “game.”

The offensive line did decently in pass blocking, but allowed a few tackles for loss in the run game. Despite that, the running backs were the most consistent position group throughout.

Going back to the DBs, they clearly need some more work. They took some bad angles in the open field, and mistimed jumps. Those guys had some good pass breakups, though. Give them credit for that.

Towards the end of the day, Clay Helton gave blind longsnapper, Jake Olsen, a chance to snap the ball. He got a lot of cheers and applause for his two snaps.

CommBro Breaker

Once again, we find ourselves waiting to find out who they name as the quarterback starter. City of Angles has a great hot take. For today’s troll lineup, Max Browne should be the starting quarterback followed by Matt Fink in two years. Why? It’s quite simple. They must continue the legacy of the House of M. The QB starters that played a majority share of the season dating back to 1998 are as follows:

1. Mike Van Raaphorst
2. Carson Palmer
3. Matt Leinart
4. John David Booty
5. Mark Sanchez
6. Matt Barkley
7. Cody Kessler

The House of M had some interruptions, but could’ve completed a dream of five in a row, as seen below. Instead, Cody CommBro Breaker Kessler came in and denied Max Wittek’s rightful place in the pantheon of USC quarterbacks with an M first name.

1. Mark Sanchez
2. Matt Barkley
3. Max Wittek
4. Max Browne
5. Matt Fink

Look at the beautiful alliteration that was destroyed. Thanks Kessler.

Disclaimer: Clicking the random links strewn throughout the post should increase your understanding and viewing enjoyment.