USC Football 2019: City Re-Angled

USC vs. the fanbase
Sometime in 2018
Los Angeles, CA: whatever’s left (of 77,500)
Total Time: Until further notice

Oh, it’s good to be back. I’m starting out with an Iron Man 2 reference because, why the heck not. Sorry if you hate Marvel movies because the references are about to continue. I guarantee you they will get more obscure. The Iron Man movies give me the perfect segway into talking about USC football.

No need to fact check. It’s a scene from Iron Man 1

At least Iron Man matches the color scheme. After a severely disappointing 2018 season and a tumultuous 2019 offseason, we’re now a short wait away from the start of the season.

Kliff Kingsbury joining the staff was hyped up more than “ex-wife” bunker buster missile:

It ended just as pathetically. Then Graham Harrell entered the scene all like:

Is it just me, or are these GIFs getting smaller?

At this point you’re probably wondering if you’re actually going to do any reading or just look at laggy reaction GIFs all day. Unfortunately for you, I can do this all day:

Captain America 2 GIF - Find & Share on GIPHY
Captain America I Can Do This All Day GIF - Find & Share on GIPHY

It’s funny how one can pull Marvel, Lord of the Rings, or Star Wars scenes and quotes with no context and force it to match a situation. You can see how I’ve been exercising my newfound free time now that I’ve finished school (again). You may now refer to me as Master CommBro. Two SCent bits are officially retired and cashing in on pension and social security; we’re going back to the full format angles.

Meanwhile, USC Athletics continues to administrate the program into irrelevance. After so many bad moves, they add insult to injury with UC Davis in 2021? Playing an FCS for the first time in the program’s 130+ years signals a resignation to mediocrity that: retaining a 5-7 coach; shrinking the Coliseum; lying down for the sanctions; and a load of other problems apparently did not. It’s not like a winning-streak or some other record you can pick back up later. This is it. It’s done forever. And what’s the reasoning? Does a seventh home game every other year really matter that much?

Maybe you consider this record arbitrary and pointless. But why should we cede this record to both our rivals, Notre Dame and UCLA? There’s almost nothing to gain from winning the game—but what happens if we lose? National embarrassment. Reminds me of this:

Am I a prophet? I don’t want to be.

Currently, the program struggles don’t have to do with circumstances outside of their control or having some rebuilding year. They are all borne of choices made by administrators—choices made for expedience, money, or some yet hidden motive. Either way, it has killed what little excitement I’ve scraped together for the upcoming season.

CommBro Breaker

I feel contractually obligated to give you a stat, so here you go.

Stat of the week: It’s been over 200 days since the last post.

After this uplifting post, see you back here in early September following the Fresno State game!