Football

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USC vs. Penn State: All Tricks and Picks

Posted on by commbro

USC vs. #4 Penn State
October 12, 2024 at 12:40pm
Los Angeles Memorial Coliseum, Los Angeles, CA: 75,250 (of 77,500)
Total Time: 3 hours 36 minutes

Here we are again with me writing about the third loss in four weeks. Not all losses are equal, though, and an overtime loss by a field goal to an undefeated #4 team is a heck of a lot better than a loss in regulation by a touchdown to an unranked 3-loss team. There are signs of improvement, but it’s not exactly a great place to be halfway through October. The Trojans are all but eliminated from playoff contention, barring some absolute improbable chaos of events. As much as I love to generate obscure stats, even I don’t want to do the math on this one.

In a strange turn of events, the Trojans played well in the first half and suffered in the second half. As a whole, we saw some growth: they ran the ball more when needed (to much success for both Woody Marks and Quinten Joyner), schemed some ways to neutralize the constant pressure for Miller Moss like moving the pocket and throwing some more screen passes to loosen up the pass rush. Yet, it was not enough to overcome some of the more disappointing parts.

There were plays almost as uninspired as my writing these days like run plays on 3rd and very long that was basically just settling for a field goal or trying to send the game to overtime instead of trying for field position for a field goal. And yet again we find a tight end giving a USC defense problems. This one player totaled more yards (221) than either the entire USC rushing (189) or passing (220) offense. This time, there’s no Grinch to blame.

Penn State busted out everything they could, with trick plays getting them the edge on several plays. They tried direct snaps to the tight end, double passes, using a snapper at the tackle spot as an eligible receiver, and maybe even some more that I may have forgotten. That’s not to say they weren’t picking up yards normally either. Penn State was able to exploit the seams between zones for some big gains to the tight end spot. Overall defensive performance: debatable—or baitable?

Not to be outdone, Lincoln Riley busted out his own trick plays. The first major one was a fake reverse for the first touchdown of the game. Somebody find the branch manager because Zachariah Branch has unfortunately been more useful as a decoy this season than a receiving or returning threat. What looked like a broken trick play still ended up being successful. Woody Marks was given the opportunity to set up the double pass, realized it was going to be blown up, and pulled it down to run for 21 yards. Between that and the “fumble” recovery from the defensive lineman, he has shown himself to be a ridiculously quick thinker and improviser.

The Penn State final drive in regulation saw two fourth down conversions with Drew Allar targeting cornerback John Humphrey’s side and completing both the 4th-and-7 and 4th-and-10 to Julian Fleming that ultimately tied up the game and put the pressure back on the Trojans. The 4th-and-10 was the most frustrating because the defensive lineman, Jamil Muhammad had his hands on Allar and just needed another moment for a sack. Depressing Stat of the Week: The USC defense is #122 in the nation in sacks per game (1) and have only 6 in total for the entire season so far. DSOTW #2: They’re also #120 in tackles for a loss per game (4).

And I’m quite aware I seem to have broken my own record again for late posts.

Good/Badisms

Good: Desman Stephans II, playing for his first meaningful snaps, getting not only an interception, but returned it 42 yards

Good: Easton Mascarenas-Arnold’s fingertip interception on the deflected pass

Bad: Miller Moss throwing too high, resulting in an interception and no field goal try as time was expiring in regulation

Bad: The missed 45-yard field goal that gave Penn State an easy shot to win in overtime

Good: Drew Allar, only threw 1 interception in 103 attempts this season prior to this game, but threw 3 against this USC defense, though one was just a last second heave for a shot at winning in regulation.

Good-ish (we’ll take what we can get): Red zone defense: only 2 touchdowns allowed on 6 red zone trips

Bad: A paltry 2 of 11 on third downs on the offensive side of the ball

Good: offensive PI on Penn State that forced them into a position to only take a field goal

CommBro Breaker

While the back half of the schedule is theoretically easier, the defense is now down two starters for the rest of the season: linebacker Eric Gentry and defensive end Anthony Lucas. This is on top of defensive lineman Bear Alexander deciding to sit out earlier in the season. In a defense that was already thin on depth, it will be interesting to see how D’Anton Lynn adjusts.

Uplifting Stat of the Week: USC is #6 in the nation in opponent third down conversion percentage (27.14%) and #1 in the Big Ten.

Czaplicki Tracker Week 6: Eddie Czaplicki has fallen back down to #2 in average punt yards per game (49.8) compared to Baylor’s Palmer Williams (52.2)

A Stat: Halfway through the season, the defense is allowing 13.6 points per game less than last season (#41 vs. #121), but are scoring 11.1 fewer points per game than last season (#52 vs. #3).

USC vs. Minnesota: That’s not very Lincoln of you and I am really disappointed

Posted on by commbro

Minnesota vs. #11 USC
October 5, 2024 at 4:40pm
Huntington Bank Stadium, Minneapolis, MN: 50,913 (of 50,805)
Total Time: 3 hours 16 minutes

Gophers can be a real problem for football. Back in high school, we used to play pickup football games on a field that was swiss-cheesed by a gopher. Tripping and injuries due to gopher holes was a common occurrence. Apparently Whac-a-Mole isn’t as easy as it looks. Complete tangent.

Y’all ever notice that some versions of this game make the “moles” look a lot more like gophers?

Maybe you’ve also noticed that the title is an amalgamation of recycled headlines, but then again, so are the criticisms. We’ve harped on this stuff all season:

  • slow first half starts
  • poor offensive line play in pass protection
  • Miller Moss being rushed and hit all the time
  • procedural penalties
  • receivers dropping balls at crucial moments
  • turnovers
  • red zone scoring issues

The weather wasn’t even cold or snowing. Yet, the offensive line continues to look like the Disney on Ice rendition, allowing the opposing defenses to consistently generate pressure with only 3-4 people on the pass rush. That leaves 8-9 people dropping into coverage, so on top of rushing poor Moss, he has to somehow get the ball out in a cluttered coverage to receivers that may just end up dropping it. This all took place after 2:00pm so they don’t even have that excuse. Turns out it’s not just the mornings that were getting to them, it’s just how they are. 

The defense, really feeling the absence of linebacker Eric Gentry, allowed the most points in a second half this year (14), compared to the previous high of 10 from the LSU game. Up to that point in the season, they had only allowed 17 points in second halves. Still, they did enough for the offense to win the game despite the turnovers and short possession times putting more pressure on them.

And yes, we can all harp on the refs again, but we can only complain about that so much. It’s not like the Pac-12 was any better with that though. Unless it’s super egregious, it usually is not looked upon well to blame refs for a loss. But if we’re going to talk about refs, did everyone see how the Gophers head coach, P.J. Fleck, gave one of the refs a nice little shove?

Do you think he wears that sweater/tie combo to make up for the fact that his name is the acronym for pajamas?

Seems suspect to me. Anyway, enough about that.

It’s year three under Lincoln Riley and it should have been better than this by now. He’s a better coach than this, but really has not shown it in many ways. That being said…

CommBro Breaker

…the Helton comparisons are really just wacko. Has everyone already forgotten how bad that really was? Do people really think they should be pulling the plug that quickly? How many truly elite coaches are even out there? One that wins against everyone they’re supposed to, never gets upset, or makes weird decisions. By the criteria that are being expected, not even the successful—or all-time greats—would qualify. 

Jim Harbaugh took like 6 years before his first win against their chief rival, Ohio State. His tenure included some random upsets, a 3-7 bowl record (including a 5 bowl losing streak before making the playoffs to extend it to 0-7), losing to unranked Michigan State (their closest UCLA equivalent) at home more than once, some mediocre seasons, and even a losing season. He eventually took them to the playoffs a few times, and even won a national championship (albeit controversially). Y’all would’ve wanted his ass fired

Then there was Kalen DeBoer, where many were ready to anoint him as the second-coming of Nick Saban post-Georgia win…right until he leads them to the upset land against unranked 2-2 Vanderbilt on the road. Even with the Georgia win, they very nearly squandered a 28 point lead.

If Nick Saban himself were the coach, we still wouldn’t be free from the delusion. He’d be criticized for hiring Sark as offensive coordinator or any of the upsets they suffered. He’d be roasted alive for the kick six, allowing their rival to win off of an ill-advised 57-yard field goal attempt. Saban had to argue to get 1 second back on the clock in order to make the attempt that was returned for a touchdown rather than opt for overtime. That decision lost 100% cost them the spot in the final BCS national championship game.

And all of these guys started with far better rosters than the aforementioned Helton stiffed Lincoln Riley with. Let’s have some perspective here, huh? No one is immune to bone-headed decisions and Riley has already made huge strides on defense. He deserves more time to prove whether or not he’s got what it takes here, especially when the NIL landscape seems to shift faster than the rules of an elementary school basketball game 30 seconds before recess ends. It might just be frustrating in the meantime. 

Uplifting Stat of the Week: Eddie Czaplicki has retaken his rightful spot at #1 in the nation in average yards per punt.

Uplifting/Depressing Stat of the Week: Despite being #28 in the nation in scoring defense (18.4 ppg), they are #108 in sacks per game (1.2 per game) and #105 in tackles for a loss (4.6 per game)

Conspiracy Continuation Stat of the Week: Miller Moss completed only 9 passes to different receivers, even if you include both the interceptions. It’s a sad week now that the streak is finally broken

Good/Badisms

Good: Woody Mark’s one-handed catch and run for a first down out of bounds to bail out Moss from what would’ve been a costly sack or incompletion and help set up Michael Lantz for his field goal.

Good: Michael Lantz sinking a career-long 54-yard field goal to tie the game at the half despite the false start setting them back after the Minnesota timeout negated the 49-yarder he made. Whew, that was long-winded. Oh yeah, and it was windy when he kicked it.

Good: Woody Marks able to take the direct snap for a touchdown

Bad: We’ve gone over most if it, but I can toss in a few more.

Bad: Missed field goal by Lantz on the first possession

Bad: Moss throwing into double coverage to Duce that led to an interception

Bad: The OL allowing Moss to be hit as he threw, resulting in an interception 

 

USC vs. Wisconsin: I’m not worried, just disappointed

Posted on by commbro

#13 USC vs. Wisconsin
September 28, 2024 at 12:40pm
Los Angeles Memorial Coliseum, Los Angeles, CA: 74,118 (of 77,500)
Total Time: 3 hours 27 minutes

Exploiting people’s innate desire to do the opposite of what they’re told

Another week comes and goes, and USC does well enough to keep their Big Ten title and playoff hopes alive. It was their second home game, the second team they played without a real QB, and another game where they rely on dominating in the second half to try to make up for the shaky first. You’d think after the loss last week, they would clean things up and come out more motivated. At no point was I worried that USC was going to lose, but definitely expected better.

Instead, they found themselves down double digits at the end of the first half yet again. While Wisconsin is not a cellar dweller, they’ve had their struggles on offense. Even after accumulating some more long plays this past game, they are #109 in passes of 10+ yards and #123 in overall plays of 10+ yards.

Granted, both last week and this week, they made significant efforts in the second half that brought them back into the game. Maybe we just have to come to accept that they are an after 2:00 PM team. (If that’s actually true, then they will have some struggles against #7 Penn State in two weeks with another 12:30pm kickoff). 

The highlight of the issues this week are special teams struggles. Letting a punt roll all the way to the 1 yard line (along with allowing that 74-yard punt also meant letting these fools catch up to our homie Czaplicki’s punt average) really hurt the offense. Longer drives give more opportunities for mistakes—like those of the turnover variety. It took 10 plays just to get to midfield and, sure enough, the drive ended in an interception. Then there was the muffed punt, which of course led directly to a turnover on the very next punt return play. Hard to get going when the special teams continually creates negatively impactful plays like that. Average start for drives was at 24.83 for USC while Wisconsin’s was 34.75…basically a free first down of difference per drive.

Maybe next year he can use the offseason to focus on improving the special teams like he did with the defense this past offseason. To be fair though, long snapper, Hank Pepper, capitalized off of Wisconsin’s own muffed punts by securing it. That beats out what most long snappers will do over an entire season.

Sorry, this is going to be a short and uncomprehensive post. It’s already Friday and I’m barely getting this out the door. At least I’m not to the point of feeding everything through Chat GPT yet.

Good/Badisms

Good: Stopping Wisconsin on 4th down on two separate occasions, especially during the third quarter on 4th-and-1 when Wisconsin still had the lead

Bad: Undisciplined play by the offensive line like the false start on 4th-and-1 that forced a field goal try instead of going for it.

Bad: The jump by the OL that didn’t end in a penalty or lost yardage, but still negated potential free play since the defense was offsides

Good: Ja’Kobi Lane and Duce Robinson making some contested receptions for touchdowns

Good: Holding Wisconsin to 0 points in the second half

Bad: Big Ten referees don’t seem to really call holding. Coming from the Pac-12, where every minor thing gets called, seems like USC is not adjusting well. Maybe the solution is for the coaches to tell them to hold until it’s called. Stop playing Pac-12 ball and start playing Big Ten ball

Good: Dominating in time of possession (40:07 to 19:53) after trailing in TOP in the first half. Nationally, USC is #16 in time of possession per game (32:40.50)

Good: Mason Cobb grabbing the interception off a double deflection and running it back for a touchdown despite having to dodge everyone for 55-yards coming from the middle of the field 

Good/Bad: Miller Moss’ runs, one for a first down and one for a touchdown. However, it was looking like he got a concussion on the touchdown run. That’s kind of the risk you run when you run your QB.

Bad: Turning over the ball three times is going to lose you the game against a tougher opponent.

Bad: Being reminded that this video exists:

If you understand this, it means you lived in a very specific time period

It’d take looking back through about 10 years of internet history to understand it…kind of like how you’d have to look back about 10 years since Wisconsin fielded good teams. 

CommBro Breaker

I went the whole post without talking about Alex Grinch and his appearance at the Coliseum and this is the extent of what I’ll say. Much like the Utah State game, maybe it was a chance for catharsis in an indirect way.

Uplifting Stat of the Week: USC is #11 nationally in opponent 3rd down conversion percentage (26.53%)

Depressing Stat of the Week: USC is perfectly balanced on turnovers, losing 6 and gaining 6. 

Corrected Stat of the Week: I had some readers correct me on my recordkeeping from the past week. They argued that Miller Moss has continued to complete passes to 10 different receivers in every game as a starter and that there is no correlation between his secret to victory. The tenth receiver in both cases are Michigan and Wisconsin defensive backs that intercepted Moss’ passes. The 5 game streak apparently continues like clockwork.

USC vs. Michigan: That’s Not Very Lincoln of You

Posted on by commbro

#18 Michigan vs. #11 USC
September 21, 2024 at 12:40pm
Michigan Stadium, Ann Arbor, MI: 110,702 (of 109,901)
Total Time: 3 hours 35 minutes

CommBro Breaker

The real CommBro Breaker of the week was that Miller Moss completed passes to only nine receivers this game. Apparently his power is only activated when that 10th receiver catches the ball. Not only have we figured out the exact reason USC lost, we have uncovered the mystery of the conspiracy. I can now safely end this post.

 

 

 

 

 

No, of course that wasn’t actually the end. No matter how much I wish I could end it that quickly with how little time I have, I could never do that. I’d rather not post anything at all (a habit I got too comfortable with the past five years) then make a joke of a post like that, but I digress…

USC took on its first conference game as a Big Ten member and it had to be on the road against the defending National Champs. It wasn’t any regular road game either, as the Big House boasts the largest official capacity in all of the United States—and their reported attendance numbers were even higher than that. Luckily, the Trojans an entire bye week to prepare for the game, but it really didn’t look like they took advantage of it.

The offense didn’t just come out looking flat, but the offensive line spent a good amount of time flat on the ground. So much so, they substituted players in the second half and proceeded to…spend slightly less time on the floor. Tack on the receivers dropping passes again, they had Miller Moss feeling more harassed than a sea turtle hatchling crossing the beach.

Miller Moss after every change of possession

Outside of three blown plays, the defense did decently (runs of 53 yards, 41 yards, 63 yards, which total to about half Michigan’s total yards). Two were due to poor positioning and one due to poor tackling. In the end, that’s pure copium though. Michigan scored as a result of those three plays and gave them enough to win the game. Besides, is it really a brag to allow a one-dimensional team run for 290 yards? Don’t get me wrong, being the first year of this defensive turnaround, the change is still impressive, but there are still things for them to work on.

Even the bright spots had some blemishes. Halfway through the third quarter, Michigan still had not managed to score (or really move the ball) that half, but Moss helped them along with an interception on the perimeter. The quick pick six to put the Wolverines up two scores again. Woody Marks decides to take the ball down to the 2-yard line with a 65-yard run, which the offensive line botched with a false start. Costly when the offense had to fight for every yard. The ensuing crucial 3rd down play resulted in a sack/fumble that was very nearly returned for a game-clinching touchdown. Woody Marks saved the day again with not only stopping the defensive lineman from scoring, but doing a clean strip and recovery that looked straight out of a video game. The double possession change even reset it to first down. It’s sad that’s what it took to finally score.

Then towards the end of the game, on the second to last USC drive, they picked the wrong time to dip back into all their problems: poor OL play leading to rushed (incomplete) passes, false starts, and, ultimately, a 3-and-out. The outcomes likely would’ve been better if they kneeled it three times. At least they would’ve burned more time and put more pressure on Michigan to throw with under 3 minutes to go.

The officiating was also subject to some criticism. There were definitely a few obvious missed facemask penalties, horse collar tackle, delay of game on 4th-and-1 that allowed a conversion, and some no-calls that might’ve even led to the injuries. They were egregious enough that the broadcast commentators made mention of several. In a game this close, every bit matters, and those very well could have been difference makers. You could argue they should have just played better and it wouldn’t have mattered. But of course we have to point it out.

Given the total penalty yardage for both sides in the game was 57 yards, the refs probably just let everything play out—Or we can claim our favorite thing here: CONSPIRACY. One of the refs, Chris Coyte, is actually a Pac-12 transplant. HMMM.

Good/Badisms

Good: Blocking the PAT after Moss’ pick six could have been huge, since a field goal at any point could have sent this game to overtime. It also provided a morale boost after a rough play

Bad: That being said, not being to drive down the field at the end to get into field goal range and taking a sack just outside of field goal range at the end of the first half could have gotten that aforementioned overtime.

Bad: Despite the blocked PAT, there were still some errors with special teams (too many people on the field, too few people, etc.)

Bad: Continued red zone scoring issues. USC currently sits at #77 (of 134) on red zone touchdown percentage

Good: Eric Gentry forcing and recovering the Donovan Edwards fumble that set up the go-ahead score. He also led the team in total tackles (12), tackles for a loss (3), and tied on sacks (1).

Bad: 8 tackles for a loss, 4 sacks, and a countless number of QB hits and pressures allowed by the offense.

Bad: Not being able to pick up a first down until the second quarter.

Push: Woody Marks got his second 100-yard rushing game in a row, and fourth of his career. More than half the yards came from that one run though.

Good: The USC defense impressively held Michigan to a 4th down from 1st and 6 at the goal line. If only they were able to finish that last play (or get the holding call, if you want to argue that).

Good: The #4s on both sides of the ball were extremely impactful. Woody Marks for the aforementioned reasons, and Easton Mascarenas-Arnold with some key tackles that weren’t flashy, but were crucial open field tackles that stopped first downs in the first half.

Really Bad: I didn’t proofread this time…like at all

Double CommBro Breaker

Somehow a Lincoln Riley team became a lower scoring, defensive team. While the whole team has things to improve on (including Riley’s own decision-making), a consistent offensive line would instantly make this a playoff team without any other changes.

Uplifting (?) Stat of the Week: Czaplicki has cemented his spot at #1 average yards per punt, more than an entire 2 yards per punt higher than the #2.

Uplifting Stat of the Week #2: While they allowed 3 big plays this game, the USC defense sits #13 nationally in allowing plays of 10+ yards

Semi-misleading Stat of the Week: The USC offense had an astounding 9 drives of four plays or less. Only semi-misleading because most of them were bad, but it’s inflated by two and three play touchdown drives.

Useless Stat of the Week: On that crazy fumble off of fumble drive, it went 6 plays for 66 yards. Are you superstitious?

USC vs. Utah State:

Posted on by commbro

#13 USC vs. Utah State (Home Opener)
September 7, 2024 at 8:10pm
Los Angeles, CA: 68,110 (of 77,500)
Total Time: 3 hours 27 minutes

On a week where many top 25 teams either fell or struggled against far less talented competition, the Trojans didn’t fall victim to the classic “trap game” scenario—a G5 team on a short week, sandwiched between two ranked matchups. Instead, they shut out the first opponent since 2011’s famous 50-0 season closer against UCLA. It’s always a good feeling when your team is playing third-stringers in the second quarter, doing mass substitutions by the third quarter, and still managing to score over 40 points.

Yeah, sure, it’s “just” Utah State, but a shutout against anyone, especially in the current day college football should be cause for celebration. I’ll probably spend 90% of this post emphasizing that. There’s a reason it hasn’t happened in 13 years. This was actually the first time a Lincoln Riley coached team has shut out against FBS opponent (other non-FBS shutouts include FCS teams Missouri State in 2020, Western Carolina in 2021 when Riley was at Oklahoma). Just take a look at the last couple of similar tier games from Riley’s past two years at USC.

TeamPoints ScoredYear
Rice142022
Fresno State172022
San Jose State282023
Nevada142023

None of these teams scored less than two touchdowns. The hard part when you’re blowing apart another team that badly is that your backups need to come in and continue carrying the shutout. A simple field goal kick could end that, much like the 19-3 score USC ended with against Utah in 2013. Since we’re on the topic, let’s think about the kickers for a second.

If you ever thought that placekickers don’t really ever get to do much, know that Utah State kicker, Elliott Nimrod, had even less than what you’d expect. He almost had the minimum amount of kicking done in a legal game of football. After the opening kickoff, he disappeared for nearly 59 game minutes before they trotted him back out to attempt a 53-yard field goal. In real time, that’s probably like 3 hours and 20 minutes—enough time for him to run to the locker room, complete two full REM cycles or the entire theatrical release of The Return of the King and still have time to warm up before that final kick. That’s participation prize level of play. In comparison, the USC kicker, Michael Lantz, had to kick 17 times (9 kickoffs, 6 PATs, 2 field goals), which is more times than Woody Marks ran the ball and only 1 less than the number of passes completed by Aggie quarterback, Bryson Barnes. Maybe that name sounds familiar to you…

If it doesn’t, Bryson Barnes, is the name of the Utah backup quarterback that (in)famously came off the bench to beat USC in 2023. The big storyline was that he was a pig farmer prior to playing at Utah. He transferred to Utah State in the offseason and was probably hoping for a repeat experience. Instead, the only thing repeated is the familiarity of the dirt of being a pig farmer, as the USC defense picked up its first three sacks of the season. Now that Utah is no longer on the schedule, perhaps this will provide the team some measure of revenge (or if you want to approach in a healthier way: catharsis).

Good/Badisms

Good: Receivers blocking, tight ends blocking and….even the starting QB blocking. It helps spring bigger plays and shows the cohesiveness of the team culture

Good: Redshirt freshman tight end, Kade Eldridge, dragging a man across the first down line

Good: The defense holding Utah State to 101 yards in the first half and the subs holding them to even less in the second half (89 yards).

Good: In the waning moments of the second quarter, causing Utah State to burn 3 timeouts just to throw an interception

Bad: The heat, the lighting problems, and a sad reality that the torch was almost left unlit for the fourth quarter.

Good: Backup quarterback, Jayden Maiava, out there playing backyard football against the Aggies.

Bad: Injuries and poor OL depth, leading to playing a walk-on center

Good/Bad: Former QB Matt Barkley getting so hyped that he headbutted someone…that had a helmet on and started bleeding

Good: When the team is running so well, they put the third string running back in during the second quarter. At one point, both Quinten Joyner and Woody Marks averaged over 10 yards per carry.

Bad: Receivers dropping some easy passes that would have been touchdowns.

Bad: The fumble by Lake McRee…although it was a very good punch by the defender

Good: The USC defense only allowed 2 out of 11 third down conversions and 0 out of 2 fourth down conversions

Good/“Bad”: USC’s first and only punt wasn’t until the 4th quarter—which ruined Czaplicki’s average punt yardage since it was a short field. His previous 55.3 ypp, would have been good for #2 in the nation. After it dropped to 50.25 ypp, he now sits at 5th.

Good: Seeing eight banners for the retired numbers of Heisman trophy winners.

CommBro Breaker

In case you’re wondering whether the blank subtitle was a mistake, it isn’t. The blank space exists as a way to sandwich the post in a meta reference to shutouts (and find another way to sneak in a sandwich reference as a call back to all such references I snuck into my grad school speeches).

Conspiracy Watch Stat #3: For the third game in a row, Miller Moss has completed passes to 10 different receivers. What is he trying to tell us? Is #10 Kyron Hudson his favorite receiver? Is he going to win Heismans #9 and #10 for USC? TELL ME

Ridiculous Stat of the Week #1: USC has only had to punt an average of two times per game, which is tied for #9 in the nation.

Ridiculous Stat of the Week #2: For the second week in a row, the old Pac-12 teams only had one loss (11-1 last week, 10-1 this week).

Interesting Stat of the Week: USC is #14 in the nation in opponent penalty yards per game (81.5)

USC vs. LSU: Battle of LA Schools

Posted on by commbro

#13 Louisiana State University vs. #23 USC
September 1, 2024 at 4:44pm
Allegiant Stadium, Las Vegas, NV: 63,969 (of 65,000)
Total Time: 3 hours 30 minutes

On a sweltering normal temperature day in Vegas, the marketing team for the Modelo Vegas Kickoff Classic would have you believe this was the beach vs. bayou showdown.

Instead, they had a really huge missed opportunity in not calling it LA vs LA. But for the fans, the true matchup was Miller vs. Modelo, as they stumbled drunk to and from the Strip. The game also boasted a record crowd, which, statistically, also probably means record number of drunks in attendance. However, I was unable to find evidence to support that claim. Apparently they don’t keep track of important stats like we do here at City of Angles. And there are none more important than the pettiness of proving people wrong.

Lincoln Riley had become the target for a lot of hate in recent years. Some of the common ones were some form of:

  • Left OU because he was scared of playing against SEC teams
  • Begged to back out of the LSU game
  • Can’t play defense
  • Needs transfer QBs that were developed by someone else

It really only took one game to shut all of those up. Maybe LSU collapses somewhere down the road or maybe they were pretenders all along, but you can’t honestly tell me that the defense of last year wouldn’t have let this LSU team score 40. The LSU offensive line returned four starters, with two that are projected to be top 10 draft picks. These were the same four that blocked for 2023 Heisman Trophy winner Jayden Daniels. Regardless of how you cut it, this was a convincing victory against a tough SEC opponent that could’ve easily been lost by a mediocre team.

This B1G-SEC matchup proved that USC was always being held back by the Pac-12…even though there really hasn’t been time for the change in conference to make a material difference in the program. This is basically equivalent to Chuck E. Cheese going by Pasqually’s Pizza & Wings on food delivery apps. They had quality, but the brand had a poor image that they needed to get rid of. I just wish we didn’t have to get rid of all the traditions and good parts of the Pac in order to get rid of the (numerous) bad parts.

Speaking of bad parts, this game was not without them. The sketchiest part was when LSU scored their first touchdown of the second half to take the lead. This was followed by: a botched reverse that resulted in a fumble (luckily, an attentive offensive lineman was there to recover it again), a false start, which all ultimately led to a three-and-out. It seemed like the team was on the verge of an implosion. With the still lopsided time of possession, the defense had every excuse and reputation of collapsing. They held out not just once, but with a three-and-out of their own the second time. The offense not only squandered it the first opportunity, but managed to burn two timeouts in what we all knew would be a very close game. Being able to rely on the defense to only give up 3 points on those last three to four drives (does the final 4 second drive count?) was a huge difference maker.

Good/Badisms

  • GOOD: Punter, Eddie Czaplicki, averaging 55.3 yards per punt (#3 in the nation)
  • GOOD: The coverage team able to limit a punt return to 1 yard despite the 57 yard kick
  • GOOD: A very casual sub-two minute drive, capped off by the former SEC running back, Woody Marks, scoring the go-ahead touchdown
  • GOOD: H-backs showing springing big plays, like the aforementioned touchdown run. You all know how much a like fullback usage, but H-back is close enough
  • GOOD: Miller Moss in his two total starts, had to throw under duress into tight coverage against top 15 teams yet managed to throw 370 yards a game and only one total interception. His quick thinking and ability to release the ball quickly and accurately, earned him Big Ten Offensive Player of the Week.
  • GOOD: Defense able to make lots of open field tackles, limiting potentially large plays
  • BEST: Kyron Hudson’s amazing catch making the ESPN Sports Center Top 10…as the top play
  • BAD: Offense centering the ball for a short field goal try in the middle, which was missed. Could have been costly in such a close game
  • BAD: No offensive rhythm at the beginning, which made them grow dependent on explosive chunk plays to score
  • BAD: Offense wasn’t able to establish run game early on
  • “BAD”: Zachariah Branch getting tackled by the kicker on the big kickoff return. Remember when Baxter told Robert Woods “never let the kicker stop you“? Joking though, that was a great play.
  • GOOD/BAD: Bad is a player getting hit in the head. Good is Kyron hanging on to a 20-yard pass to get an additional 14 yards tacked on by penalty, a free time out, and ejection of their redshirt junior starting safety.
  • GOOD/BAD: Good is me making a post again after 2 years. Or maybe that’s bad LOL. Bad is I make absolutely no guarantees for consistency during this season. I will publish as my schedule allows. Or, again, maybe that’s good.

CommBro Breaker

“Here’s to the ones who dream
Foolish as they may seem”:
Notre Dame-Texas A&M
Georgia-Clemson
USC-LSU

Kudos to all these teams taking on tough matchups in their first game despite it being historically more beneficial to play a cupcake to bolster their playoff chances, especially in the expanded 12-team playoff format.

Misleading Stat of the Week #1: USC is undefeated against SEC teams in the ’20s (both the 1920s and 2020s combined!). They have literally only played LSU in those two decades.

Obscure Stat of the Week: In both starts. Miller Moss has completed passes to exactly 10 receivers, with none getting 100 or more yards. There must be some conspiracy theory we can contrive from this.

Misleading Stat of the Week #2: The defense has allowed 18 plays of 10+ yards, which is 114th in the nation. Luckily allowing some larger plays doesn’t necessarily equate to allowing points

Rivalry Week Trash Talk

Posted on by commbro

Welcome back everyone! It’s been a while since I’ve made a post (despite saying I was going to Tom Brady myself out of retirement almost a year ago). But the mention of Tom Brady might have you thinking some combination of the following:

  1. “You weren’t the GOAT of the blog world, probably not even the GOAT of something super specific, like the satirical USC football blog world.”
  2. “Your wife didn’t leave you”
  3. “Your blog posts coming out of retirement didn’t suck”

If you were thinking number one, thanks, but you’re still reading, so I won. If you were thinking number three, thanks, you’re too kind. If you’re thinking number 2, I would like you inform you that I dated a Bruin during this absentee time and it went about as well as you would expect—just a heartbreaker like any other Bruin (enough to dedicate an entire trash talk post about UCLA)1. Leaving retirement and the woman leaving me was enough for me to draw the Tom Brady parallel. Sure, it was a bit forced, but it’s hard to find good content sometimes…however—CommBro Breaker—sometimes, content is so good, it pretty much writes itself.

It’s rivalry week, and we’re all just looking for a good excuse to talk trash. I know many of us are in search of good tidbits to zing ’em with. I’ve given you the comprehensive history of the eight clap in the past, and while I can rest on those laurels for the rest of my life, I will provide you with some quality quips at the expense of the Bruins.

We look back more than a century ago, to the founding of the UCLA football team. The University of California decided that UCLA should field a football team in their first year as a school in 1919. As with most teams, you play who you can when you first form a team. For example, when USC began playing football in 1888, they tussled with the Alliance Athletic Club twice, finishing 2-0 that season. The start of UCLA’s season began with three consecutive games against high schools. They lost to them all. That’s right—their program began with three consecutive losses to high schools…including a 0-74 loss against Manual Arts High School. While that seems like it could be a candidate for most points allowed by a UCLA team, USC actually beat them 76-0 back in 1929. It would’ve been comical if a high school or USC held that record to this day, but no, it was Whittier dropping 103 points on them in 1920. That will be a tough one to beat. For reference, USC has never allowed more than 62 points in a game, despite having 30ish more years of football history. We’re getting distracted though…

Back to that first UCLA season, they also Misleading Stat of the Week lost against every opponent they played that year. As the fact-checkers I hope you all are, seeing that 2-6 record might have you ready to burn me at the stake, but look at those two wins they had: Occidental freshman and LA JC (who later took over UCLA’s second campus). Those poor Bruins ended up losing to those two teams on their second meeting that season making my statement true in the most technical sense. Oops, did I say Bruins? Back then, they were actually called the Cubs—the Southern Branch Cubs. In those days, USC Trojans would call them “the twigs.” Those two lone wins did set a precedent though. The next two head coaches would also only win two games before leaving the position. That’s right, the first three UCLA Southern Branch head coaches each only won two games each and left with losing records. With that kind of start, it’s amazing they’ve survived this long.

This concludes the trash talk post. Thanks for reading and see you next time…whenever the heck that is.

1 Did I really just put footnotes into a blog post? Yes, but only in the interest of being fair and honest (like all my blog posts *wink wink*). While I talked trash all in good fun, the poor Bruin girl I was referencing was actually a really great person, but it wouldn’t have worked out. I’m just trying to make humorous content and sometimes you have to force the narrative to fit.

USC 2021 Stats and Stuff

Posted on by commbro

Welcome back everyone. Yes, I disappeared for a long time due to the chaos in my life. It took a season of historically bad stats to bring me out of temporary retirement. I had intended to publish after the UCLA game, but got bogged down by some events leading up to the BYU game. Needless to say, it was an eventful week. Let’s just start it off.

After dropping to a 4-6 record and embarrassing defeat by crosstown rival, UCLA, I decided to examine just how bad the defense was. If you’ve been reading the blog closely, you know by now how few losing records USC has accumulated through the years. Below is a list of all 9 of them dating back to 1957. Why am I cherry picking such an odd year to stop at? 1957? There must be an agenda. Hello, you must be new here. City of Angles has an agenda guarantee or your money back. I’m not compensating you for your time—and neither is USC for all the time I wasted watching this dumpster fire.

YearRecordCoachTenure Details
20214-8 or 5-7Clay Helton/Interim Donte WilliamsYear 6 of 6
20185-7Clay HeltonYear 3 of 6
20005-7Paul HackettYear 3 of 3
19913-8Larry SmithYear 5 of 6
19834-6-1Ted TollnerYear 1 of 4
19614-5-1John McKayYear 2 of 16
19604-6John McKayYear 1 of 16
19584-5-1Don ClarkYear 2 of 3
19571-9Don ClarkYear 1 of 3

As a tangent, there are lots of interesting observations from this. In almost every case, a coach picks up a losing season at USC either within the first two or last two seasons. It seems like they usually build things up or get fired soon after. The only exception to this is Clay Helton…who managed to get one in year three of six and didn’t get fired until he was about to pick up another one in his final year. He is also one of three that is able to show up on the list twice. Legendary coach John McKay took two seasons to work his way up to the four national championships and 9 conference championships he would earn over the remaining 14 years. The other is Don Clark…that had a team that didn’t have scholarship players at certain positions due to severe restrictions on recruiting by the Pacific Coast Conference. That brings me back to the main agenda-pushing…


There was lots of chatter amongst USC circles about 2021 being the worst season since 1957. That’s definitely not true by record, since 1991 had a 3-8 season, but I’m sure it got overlooked. Basically no one on the current team was alive back then (except for Ben Griffiths, maybe a few months old at the time). Even interim coach Donte Williams was only around 9 years old back then. Maybe by some other metric, you could make this argument, but not by wins and losses. So could this season be the worst season since 1991—a 30-year low? Nay, I posit that this may be the worst season of ALL TIME.

It’s a bold statement, but here are my arguments:

USC lost 71% of home games this season (5 of 7), which is tied for second worst number of home losses as the 2000, 1991, and 1935 seasons. The worst was 1957 with 6 of 6 lost. That’s probably why there was a mass exodus at the beginning of almost every fourth quarter this season. Either that or they mistook the lighting of the torch as a fire and proceeded to evacuate to the nearest tunnel like that video keeps telling us to do.

This season had the first home loss to Oregon State since 1960. That’s a nasty 50-year streak that got broken…back before the first person went to space (1961).

It was also the first home loss to Utah in 1916…a whopping 105 years. The record has to say Los Angeles because the last time somebody saw Utah win against USC at home, the Coliseum did not exist yet. That’s because it was a built as a memorial to WWI veterans, which began in 1921 and was completed in 1923. WWI was still ongoing and the US had not even officially entered into the war until December of 1917. Look up significant things that happened in 1916, it’s pretty funny. The previous Utah win against USC at home is in league with “First successful blood transfusion,” “National Park Service created,” and “Rockefeller becomes world’s first billionaire.” I could sit here and make more comparisons to show how absurdly long of a time it has been, but I won’t. We have other stats to harp on.

That UCLA loss was also the most the Bruins have ever scored against USC. The previous high was 48 points in 1996, but it was also a double overtime game. The 62 points allowed ties for the highest points allowed by a USC defense in history (Oregon 2012, ASU 2013). Last, but not least (nothing to do with points is “the least” this season), the 29 point margin of loss is the largest since 1954 (0-34), when UCLA went undefeated and won their first and only national championship (that was split with Ohio State). It was also the season that the Bruins first debuted their powder blue uniforms (I hope you appreciated this tidbit because I had to log into ProQuest to fact check it).

After hammering home (like how just about every team hammered USC at home this season) just how long ago most of this stuff is, I saved one of the best stats for last. By points per game allowed, this is the WORST defense of ALL TIME. That’s all one hundred thirty-three years from 1888 to 2021. When I first crunched this stat out (about a week ago), USC was averaging 32.2 points per game allowed, and still had a chance to not have that dubious distinction.

Their only task would be to hold BYU and Cal to a combined 32 points. Seeing as how BYU already put up 35 points, it’s not only over, but will actually increase the average and pad the stats. Unless Cal somehow puts up at least negative four points, this stat will hold. During my delve into hundred plus years of history, I thought the 1901 season might come close to having a worse scoring defense. The two game schedule had one opponent scoring 45 points, but the average came out to 25.5. Unsurprisingly, the previous high was also Helton-involved at 29.4 ppg allowed back in 2019.

While most of these stats (other than scoring defense) aren’t the worst, they’re pretty damn bad. You could make arguments about the 1-9 1957 season or the 3-8 1991 season as being worse, but neither of them had all these things happen during the same season. As stated before, that 1-9 team also requires some huge asterisks due to the state of the roster. Coach Clark ended up achieving an 8-2 record two years after that 1-9 season before retiring and handing things off to John McKay, so it still seems better than the final season of one of the worst head coaches in USC history.

CommBro Breaker

USC did put up a good fight against 9-2, #13 BYU and was mere yards away from a victory, showing a bit of that “Fight On” attitude again. Perhaps someone whispered to them that LINCOLN FREAKING RILEY would be there soon.

While the season itself sucks, Mike Bohn and Brandon Sosna pulled off one of the greatest coaching search processes of all time. They brought in one of the best prospects that money can pay for right now and simultaneously managed to keep it quiet right up until the end. Who even knew he was a real option?

Personally, I didn’t even think it would be possible to poach a coach from a similar tier school/blue blood such as Oklahoma. While the guy’s resume is short (4 complete seasons), he has never finished outside of the top 10 and his team likely will do so again at the end of this season. He had playoff appearances in each of his first three seasons and four NY6 bowl appearances. There aren’t a whole lot of better active coaches in college football, or just active coaches in general. In the end, even if he isn’t able to win national championships at USC, he should at least move us squarely back into the right position. I can’t really think of any better options that are available. Riley’s offenses will be amazing to watch…the defensive coordinator he’s bringing is a little less exciting. The team will go as far as the defense lets it.

FYI, if you have a moment, you should check out the post-press conference interview with Sosna. He exudes well thought out philosophies, is well-spoken, and provides interesting background to the process. USC better do what they can to keep him for as long as they can.

Anyway, welcome back to all the readers. It wasn’t my best content, but I’ll get back to my old ways as USC now will. Thanks for showing up after the excessively long hiatus. See you all again soon (hopefully).

USC vs. Cal: Confused Cat

Posted on by commbro

California vs. USC
November 16, 2019 at 8:05pm
Memorial Stadium, Berkeley, CA: 46,397 (of 62,467)
Total Time: 3 hours 17 minutes

Somehow, Helton took his team on the road and managed to score 41 points on one of the better Pac-12 defenses. That’s the most points anyone has scored on Cal in a single game all season and one point shy of the most points scored on them since 2018. Before playing USC, they held teams to an average of less than 21 points per game. That would’ve ranked them around #26 in the nation in scoring defense, had they not played USC. Helton is probably feeling pretty good about himself after this win, but I doubt it convinced anyone that he should be retained at the end of the season.

At the beginning of the game, Cal was able to run with at the USC front seven with success and scored first. Typically, the talent in skill positions can be somewhat comparable between schools like Cal and USC. The true gulf usually lies in the line talent, which would show in the running game on either end. The continued run success of USC’s opponents suggests a gulf in coaching ability.

After figuring out the exploitable match-ups between the Cal secondary and USC receivers, the Trojans went vertical as often as they could. More than one third of Slovis’ attempts were completed for 10 or more yards and five completions were in the 30+ yard range.

12 passes of 10+ yards (34% of attempts)
7 passes of 20+ yards (20% of attempts)
5 passes of 30+ yards (14% of attempts)

Many of the touchdowns throws came from very anti-climatic slips by Cal defenders. It resulted in plays like this one:

His celebration had about as much enthusiasm as me when I found out that I won $2 from a $1 scratcher. I guess he’s seen better touchdowns though.

Speaking of which, four different receivers had touchdowns, which is pretty cool.

Good/Badisms

BAD: Ejection of defensive lineman, Christian Rector, due to targeting. His tackle for

BAD: The umpire was standing in the way of a pass route, requiring him to duck for the ball to get to Pittman. The obstacle proved to be enough for cause him to drop it.

GOOD: Slovis being able to scramble and come to a complete stop before passing to Drake London.

BAD: Like the story for many of USC’s opponents this season, the starting QB went out of the game, allowing USC to beat them down. The game was still a tough 10-7 until their offense stalled out with backup QB Devon Modster in for the starter Chase Garbers.

GOOD: Cornerback Greg Johnson’s long interception return.

GOOD/BAD: The tip interception to Isaiah Pola-Mao was great…until he fumbled it on the return.

GOOD: It was great for the back ups to get some playing time in for once.

CommBro Breaker

Only one more game until the end of the regular season. Then endless speculation regarding coaching moves will be fueled until a new hire is formally announced by Athletic Director Mike Bohn. USC fans will be sitting together like this:

I think most people can agree that we are beyond the point of saying Helton can recover. (Ridiculous Stat of the Week #1:) There are only three teams with winning records in the conference at the moment. USC has played all of them and only beat Utah. Despite such a soft schedule, they could only muster up a 7-4 record.

It will take a Utah loss to either Arizona this week or Colorado next week and a USC win against UCLA for USC to make it to the conference championship game. Either way, we hope the UCLA game is his last game.

Ridiculous Stat of the Week #2: Averaging 2.1 yards per rush. USC almost averaged more scoring drives per quarter than that. Cal managed to average 4.7 yards per run.

USC vs. ASU: What’s the difference between Helton and a dollar bill?

Posted on by commbro

ASU vs. USC
November 9, 2019 at 12:35pm
Sun Devil Stadium, Tempe, AZ: 54,191 (of 55,000)
Total Time: 3 hours 35 minutes

I had predicted a loss to ASU, and despite the early 28-7 lead, I still expected it to happen. Luckily, I was proven wrong and we can enjoy being bowl eligible for the first time since 2017. Many of you probably still feel like this:

However, I don’t think that will be the issue. Would a new athletic director really want their performance evaluated based on a head coach that has lost the fanbase and is a hire from two athletic directors ago? Based on subtle hints in Mike Bohn’s speech, it seems like we should expect a set outcome no matter how Helton finishes the season.

Helton posted up one of the highest scoring first quarters—the highest since Sark’s first season, with Kessler throwing for 4 TDs against Colorado. He almost tricked us into thinking he knew what he was doing.

Slovis looked like he had end of game stats by the end of the first quarter (297 yards, 4 touchdowns, 0 interceptions). As a result, Helton seemed to be lulled into thinking the game actually ended already. He could’ve stayed at his first quarter scoring numbers and still won the game. Getting an average of one point per quarter after the first isn’t much better than that.

  • ZERO touchdowns in quarters two through four
  • Allowing a 19-3 scoring run by ASU
  • Scoring drought of 28:45…basically half the game

Still, that was one of the better first quarters we’ve seen. Being able to gain 315 yards compared to ASU’s 1 yard, while holding the Sun Devils to 0 first downs is quite a sight. He had a decent first quarter against Oregon last week too. That’s three quarters he’s basically MIA for. Where’s the other 75% of the coach? Now we know where the other quarter platform went in King’s Cross Station.

We wish Helton could disappear into the wall as well.

Now imagine him in other professions.

  • Pizza delivery: Order a large pizza, only get two individual slices
  • Audio technician: half a speaker for your stereo setup
  • Marathon runner: Stops after 6.55 miles
  • Furniture designer: One-legged table
  • College student: Cooks minute rice for 15 seconds

Can the school pay him 25% of the salary? Even his first quarter was full of problems like:

  • illegal shift on a freaking PAT after the first touchdown
  • allowed large kickoff return after going up 14-0 and again after 21-0. The second one was a squib kick that still got to the 50-yard line. Isn’t that the exact opposite of what a squib is supposed to do?

Good/Badisms

GOOD: Former USC safety, Jack Jones tried to strip the ball from running back Kenan Christon and failed miserably. The transfer’s greedy play allowed Christon to run it in for the touchdown.

BAD: Linebacker John Houston’s near interception that bounced directly into an ASU player’s hands.

GOOD: Kedon Slovis’ perfect touch pass from the 5-yard line that Amon-Ra St. Brown turned into a touchdown.

GOOD: Safety Isaiah Pola-Mao making an interception as if he was the receiver.

BAD: Slovis’ first mistake near the end of the second quarter. He overthrew Pittman on double coverage despite having time. That led to an interception.

BAD: False start penalty while trying to go for it on 4th down.

BAD: A pass interference on cornerback Olijah Griffin, which ESPN showed on screen as committed by “Devon Williams”—who is currently an Oregon wide receiver. Williams and Griffin both wore #2 when they were on the USC roster. Williams transferred a while ago. Maybe ESPN can put this on their “C’mon Man!” segments?

GOOD: Receiver Drake London ripping away a near interception from a defender’s hands on a 3rd-and-18 during the short period of time Matt Fink was in for Slovis.

BAD: Roughing the passer penalty that wiped out an interception. It’s technically written that way in the rulebook, but it really shouldn’t be that way. If the roughing penalty caused the turnover, I could understand returning possession back to the offense, but if that’s the case, that means it shouldn’t be roughing since he hit the guy as he passed the ball. If it didn’t affect the play, the 15-yard penalty should be assessed after the play has ended, which means the ball still gets turned over. The rule is the same in the NFL and CFB, but I think it should be changed.

GOOD/BAD: C’mon Pac-12, a review on a punt? At least it showed punter Ben Griffiths and the special teams’ best work all year: pinning ASU at the 1-yard line.

GOOD: St. Brown’s 24-yard punt return.

GOOD: Defensive lineman Christian Rector with the tip and the interception.

CommBro Breaker

Finally bowl eligible! We can safely say this season is better than last season. Only took 10 weeks of the season to confirm. They’ve got back-to-back UCs in the next two weeks. We’ll see how it goes…

Ridiculous Stat of the Week #1: The offensive line only allowed 1 sack this game. They also gave Slovis time to throw on most passing plays. Quite surprising since he was getting rushed or knocked down every other play last week.

Ridiculous Stat of the Week #2: Don’t ever let anyone tell you Helton isn’t the best at something. He is the best in the nation in every statistical category for allowing long kickoff returns. That means everything from 30+ to 90+ yards. Can you think of the worst FBS teams—ones that may not even have any wins right now? Well, they have allowed less than Helton’s team has this season.