I have been given the privilege to guest-write on City of Angles and will hopefully not blow away any future chances of guest-writing again.

Without further ado…




Apparently the NCAA has released a briefing (which is anything but brief) regarding why they know beyond a shadow of a doubt that Todd McNair is a boldfaced liar. And it all revolves around…a selfie. And no we are not talking about “The Chainsmokers” selfie, because if we were, then there would’ve at least been a half dozen more selfie retakes and thus more “photo evidence”. This leads me to my first piece of circumstantial evidence on why the photo is fake.

#1. One Photo—One Perfect Photo

Isn’t it curious why there was only one selfie taken? I’m no selfie expert, but I do know that getting the first elusive money selfie shot with a 2005 cell phone is probably as slim of a chance as Cal beating USC for the National Championship next year. How do I know there weren’t any more shots taken? Because that would’ve clearly helped NCAA’s case and they would’ve released it (or USCFootball.com would’ve). Bam! Onto point two.

#2. The Original Shot

If you are thinking, “what original shot?” that is precisely my point. There isn’t one. Or they aren’t willing to show it. Isn’t curious that these dimensions are not typical of any phone and that the photo was therefore cropped? Some of you may be saying, “But wait, you said that selfie shots are hard to take and maybe they had to crop it, right?” hate to say this (well not really 😛 ) but—you’re wrong—kinda. You see, that would’ve been slightly believable; however, they also changed the photo format from the traditional jpg (the type a cell phone generally takes) and converted it to a bmp. This makes it extremely difficult to conclusively determine whether the photo was fake or not. Where there’s smoke, there’s usually a chimney—burning and altering evidence. Anywho, there is still the issue of Lloyd being in the photo. If you believe that this photo still has the possibility of being genuine, then I will present you my final, more concrete piece of evidence.

#3. “The Phantom Phinger”

I’ve looked this up and unfortunately couldn’t find an explanation. Let’s take a quick gander at the finger resting on McNair’s shoulder on the photo above. Does something seem off? Actually, lets rewind a little first. The whole photo looks off. The awkward pose, the hand that doesn’t seem to belong to anybody, the two successful photo-bombers (and apparently wannabe agents). It was so awkward that, my good friends and I decided that we would try to remake this photo.

Very Awkward Pose...

Very Awkward Pose…pheaturing the phantom phinger

Yeah, this probably didn’t work due to our photo taking skills if anything but thought it would be fun to try…you know for perspective purposes.

Back to the “phantom phinger”. If the way his finger is cut doesn’t scream photoshopped, I don’t know what does. It looks completely cut as if he is digging his finger into his clavicle region. Even the reflection off his fingernail looks off (that may be my eyes want it too though).

Lastly, why it doesn’t matter…

Now I know there are some of you that still don’t believe (most likely USC-haters and NCAA-lovers); however, this doesn’t even matter…not in the slightest. By a show of hands, how many of you have ever taken a photo with someone you didn’t know? Yes this includes photobombings, parties, tailgates, concerts, etc. Now how many of your friends just assumed that because you have a photo with someone, you must’ve talked about: (insert subject here). Sounds a little ridiculous doesn’t it. Well that’s exactly what happened. The NCAA made assumptions that: (1) McNair must’ve known these people (2) McNair must’ve talked about giving Bush benefits. These assumptions were all “validated” through one major piece of evidence: the selfie.

Ultimately, I understand that I brought up a ton off the wall evidence and points of view that are all pretty circumstantial; however, here’s the kicker—so did the NCAA and yet they acted on it, in attempt to destroy a football program and a coaches career. And kids, this is why you don’t go to parties.

Thank you and until next time,

Johnny Foosball


CommBro Breaker

Your homie, commbro is back. People normally do forewards for this sort of thing, but screw it—afterword. I don’t get this whole Phantom Menace business or whatever, but that picture is about as bad as Jar Jar Binks. That means someone just created because they thought they were being clever (sorry George Lucas. Still Trojan bros, right?) Anyway, we hoped you enjoyed that little tirade. It saved me from doing a rant myself.

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