Valentine’s Day will be upon us soon and, as far as I can tell, there’s a real dearth of USC football-related Valentine’s content. Don’t hit me with some trite “Trojans” joke, because that stuff is so played out. We need to be a bit more creative here. For that reason, I have provided some helpful lines for your local USC fans. USC is out there picking up chads left and right, but why should they have all the fun? 

Start with writing them a nice poem like:

Roses are Bowls
bruins are blue
I’d score a goal
just for you

Or maybe you’d like some old-fashioned pick-up lines:

1. Around you, my heart is like Alex Grinch’s defense
2. You’re the Bear Alexander to my NIL
3. I’d hold you like a Big Ten offensive line
4. When you’re away, I’m a placekicker and you’re the goalposts in a close game: I’ll miss you
5. I’ll treat you like the USC defensive line: I won’t pressure you
6. Without you, I’d be a Big Ten road game: lost
7. You’re my Toa Lobendahn
8. Your feelings are like an FCS team, I’d never play with them
9. Girl, I’m like USC during the sanctions. There are no backups for you.

CommBro Breaker

DISCLAIMER: We are not responsible for any slaps, cops called, HR incidents, or any adverse results whether covered by these terms or not. We are not certified dating advisors and this is not dating advice. However, if you are successful, we will take credit.